Kaden Layne Harris

Dandelions

2012-02-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

When you were 15 months old Mommy and Daddy took you to the Outer Banks for our family vacation with friends. One afternoon, the three of us took a walk from our vacation house to the little playground down the street. You had been walking just over a month and still liked to watch your feet as you took each step. You toddled back and forth zig-zagging from one side of the sidewalk to the the other. About halfway down the sidewalk you stopped at the sight of a little yellow flower. The flower had grown tall above the blades of grass. Curious was the expression on your face. Daddy picked that pretty flower and handed it to you. It matched the yellow of your dress. Your eyes lit up as you squeezed the flower between your fingers. It didn't take long before it turned limp in your hand.

When most people think of flowers, they probably don't give much thought to dandelions. Most people associate them with weeds and consider them a nuisance or an imperfection.

But to you, my curious little girl, this dandelion was a gift. For you, the simplest of things would brighten your day. Mommy loved that about you.

When Mommy looks back at pictures like these, I am so grateful for the tender moments we shared with you. I am reminded that it is the simplest things that truly mean so much in this life. We always remember these precious little moments and thank God that we have these memories of you.

Tonight we celebrated what would have been your 3rd birthday. We called today "Kaden's Day for Kids". In your memory , we asked our closest friends and family to join us for a fun day at Daddy's gym. We decided that since we cannot have you here with us, the next best thing would be to bring everyone together to celebrate your life and support the SUDC program. We all love and miss you so very much and continue to wonder how life would be different if you were still here with us.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl...

Pieces of You

2012-01-11T17:11:00.000-08:00

Mommy searched for a Christmas dress for Layne that would match the bow you wore in your first Christmas pictures. Mommy always tries to include something of yours in all our family pictures and on special days.

Hi Sweet Baby Girl...

Another month has come and gone. Lately the months seem so short especially when we see how fast your little sister is growing. As each month passes it is the little things that Layne does that continues to remind us of you.

One of my favorite things to do is show Layne videos of you on my phone. Last Christmas Daddy got Mommy a new cell phone so that I could watch your videos anywhere I was. He put some of my favorite ones of you on there. The one at swim class. We sang your favorite song The Wheels on the Bus. At the end you clapped and smiled big up at Daddy. Mommy loved holding you in the water. The one of you swinging your arms dancing when you thought no one was looking while we were on vacation. You became so bashful when you realized Daddy was watching. You buried your head in the side of the bed.

I used to watch these videos all the time. Now I find myself watching Layne's expressions instead. Her little eyebrows and forehead raise up and down. She doesn't take her eye off of you. I want so much for her to know how great you made us feel!

As Layne grows older Mommy and Daddy love seeing her find so much joy in your things. Mommy remembers how difficult it was when I was pregnant with Layne to make room for her things. Since Layne would be taking your room it was necessary for Mommy and Daddy to move a lot of your things. No way did we ever consider getting rid of one single toy, sleeper, or blanket. Instead, we put your things in a box and stored them in the basement. We knew that one day we would want to look at all these things again.

Very soon after you passed away Mommy and Daddy's very good friends took on a most difficult task. With loving hearts and by our request, they combed through our entire house to remove all the baby things that were scattered about. Mommy and Daddy couldn't bear the thought of coming home without you only to find a house with reminders of you. From dirty laundry to diapers, to a whole cabinet full of baby food I purchased the day you passed. Spoons, bowls, and plates made just right for small hands. Even a sippy cup with a few drops of milk left behind. Everything of yours, with the exception of the pictures that hung on our walls and the things in your room, was packed away.

As Layne has grown it has made Mommy's heart so happy and sad at the same time to share your things with her. Every so often Mommy will round up enough courage and strength to go through another tub of your last things.

Just a little while ago when Layne started eating several meals a day, I knew it was time to search for those bibs and spoons. So one night while Daddy was working late, I did it. I went downstairs and carried the two purple tubs Mommy and Daddy's friends had packed for us. And in one night I sat in the living room floor pulling out one spoon and sippy cup at a time searching for any pieces of you that might remain as a reminder. Your toys, with batteries that had stopped working, your personalized CD that you never got to hear, your Outer Banks cup with your name on the side, your purple recorder you used to walk around the house blowing as loud as you could, the brand new sippy cups Mommy bought for you the day you passed that were never opened. Mommy sat in the floor tearful and sad searching for any evidence of you I could find on all those things.

Wrapped up in my own sorrow and surrounded by all your things, Mommy had briefly forgotten all about Layne sitting next to me. When I turned to look and see what she was doing, I couldn't help but smile when I saw her banging your cereal bowls together. It was then that I realized that pieces of you are all around us. We just have to remember to seek out the joy we find in the things you loved.

It won't be long before Layne will outgrow your things. I don't mind if the polka dots are faded on the outfits she wears or the colors are last seasons trend. What matters to me is that Layne is surrounded by you in the one way she can be. We love Layne so much and appreciate her for all the joy she brings to our days! She has truly been a lifesaver to Mommy and Daddy over the past year. We only imagine how full our hearts would be if we had the both of you to love each day.

Milestones

2011-12-11T17:40:00.001-08:00

Kaden & Santa December 2009

Layne & Santa December 2011

Hi sweet girl... Another month has passed. You continue to be on our minds and in our hearts throughout every day. As we get ready for another Christmas season, life is bittersweet. We have so very much to be thankful for, yet we still feel incomplete.

Today we celebrated your life and the power of friendship. Your Donna Ma prepared a special gathering to thank many friends and relatives who reached out to all of us over the past year. It was a special afternoon filled with good company and an opportunity to share about you. Your Aunt Alex even made special ornaments with your picture for people to hang on their tree. I love that it was a good day. I love that people haven't forgotten about you. And, I love that people can see our family is okay. It's our special friends and family that have helped us so much.

This time of year we come upon another milestone in this journey of grief. Last year we were completely miserable. Everything festive was piercingly painful. Everything good around us felt like a slap in the face. All we could do is remember what we had and know that it would never be again.

This year is different. Perhaps it's because we have Baby Layne to help make our days brighter. Your baby sister is such a blessing to our entire family. She makes us smile each day and helps remind us of you. She certainly has a personality like no other, but in many ways her mannerisms are just like yours. It's the little things that Mommy appreciates with little Layne. The smell of her hair, the squish of her chunky little thighs, her warm head resting on your shoulder before bed, the pat of her hand on your arm when you hold her. All of these are the things Mommy and Daddy miss so much about you. So when we get these times with Layne we savor them more than we ever knew we should before. In these precious moments with Layne we are reminded of how great it was to have and love you even if only for a short time.

As we venture through each milestone we are reminded just how far we have come in a year. Though we may get more used to living with an empty feeling in our hearts, we will never stop remembering and loving you, our sweet baby girl.

Eleven

2011-11-11T16:56:00.001-08:00

11.11.11

Sweet Baby Kaden,

On the day you were born Mommy found significance with the number 11. The eleventh of February was the single most life-changing day of Mommy's life. Each month as you grew a little more it became my simple mission to celebrate your day. Mommy always called it your special day for the very reason that I wanted you to know just how loved you were. Early on I imagined that as we added more babies to our little family, each one would have their own day reflective of their birthday.

To me, the eleventh was even more special because it was the day after Mommy and Daddy were married. Soon after Mommy and Daddy were married, we set aside the tenth as "You and Me Day". Mommy and Daddy would always go out on a special date on the tenth of each month. After you were born, we jokingly called the tenth "You, Me, and We Day" to include you. =) Mommy loved how these two special days fell back to back.

Mommy has always been funny about numbers. Math was always my favorite subject growing up. Mommy is one of those people who likes to find patterns in numbers, count to see how many steps it takes to walk up the stairs or reach the car from the door. Mommy chose 6.10.06 as her and Daddy's wedding date because the idea of symmetry in numbers seemed pretty neat. I know it probably sounds pretty dorky, but that's just how Mommy's brain works. I'm no mathematician, but numbers have always been so intriguing.

I have to say, I've never thought of myself as superstitious, nor have I ever believed in supernatural powers or experiences of any kind. I really don't believe in all that stuff. Maybe it's because your Aunt Keshia made Mommy watch too many scary movies about those sorts of things when I was younger. Maybe it's because that stuff creeps me out when I think of the possible bad things that could come about if you dive too deep into it all.

Even though I do not believe in all that, I do think there is something to be said about the significance of time related to you.

On July 10, 2010 you went to sleep and never woke up again.

At 11:11 p.m. Mommy and Daddy got the call from the EMT while driving back from a wedding in Cincinnati.

After the fog lifted in the days following your visitation and funeral, Mommy started to take note of the number 11 on the clocks in the house. It seemed like every time I glanced at the time the clocks always read some hour and 11. Those first few months after you passed you were always on my mind - every second, every minute, every hour. When I would see the clock read 11 I would tell myself that you must be thinking of us. That would make me smile.

After a month or two of noticing this coincidence with the number 11 I mentioned it to Daddy.

In the middle of the night I would wake up just to look up and see 3:11 or 4:11 shine brightly on the clock. When I would go to make a call or return a text, 2:11 or 5:11 would reflect back to me. Daddy would start to notice it too.

About this time we also received the official certificate no parent ever wants to receive. On it was the time of your death - 11:10 p.m.

In some unusual way Mommy likes to think that your first minute in heaven was at 11:11. At that very same moment on earth, Mommy and Daddy were getting a gut-wrenching call telling us you were no longer here. I also like to think that the next day, July 11, 2010 you spent your special day with Jesus.

To a lot of people this all probably sounds completely crazy. I think of it as a special way of you telling Mommy you are okay.

Everyday I see the number 11 on a clock. Sometimes I see it four or five times in one day. I used to wonder if I was looking for the number in a desperate attempt to share just one minute with you. But after taking note of what is taking place during that instant, I know it is beyond me.

In May when Layne had her newborn pictures taken with Michele, sweet memories of your first photos flashed in my mind. I happened to glance up at the clock and saw the time read 2:11. This summer when Mommy was rushing to make Layne's footprints for Daddy's Father's Day card before he got home, I thought for a moment about how much fun you would have had doing it with us. I glanced up in a hurry to check the time and the microwave clock read 11:11. This morning after sharing a story about you to my teaching assistant at school I glanced down to check a video on my computer and saw the time 8:11. These are just a few instances. I could easily give 20 more.

Whether it's on my alarm clock, stove, cell phone, computer, or television, when I see the number 11 on a digital clock I always pause for a moment to think of you. Sometimes I smile. And sometimes I sigh wondering what that very moment would be like if you were still here with us. I think it is somehow your special way of saying you miss us, too.

Mommy has heard that if you google the significance of the number eleven many things will note some kind of spiritual connection associated with that number. I like to think that. In some bizarre way, it makes me happy to think that your spirit lives with us - even if it's only through a number.

Love you and miss you baby girl.

Significance

2011-10-11T18:38:00.000-07:00

Today is another Kaden Day. The 11th is my favorite day of each month. I look forward to celebrating your day.

A year ago that was far from true. Last year the 11th was one of the toughest days of each month for Mommy. I would get so sad thinking of how much older you would be and wonder what all you would be doing if you were still here. I still wonder how long your hair might be by now and how you might be as a little girl. Those things don't change. I think they probably never will. I think we just get used to the idea that we will always wonder and never know for sure until we see you again in heaven.

Tonight Mommy and Daddy went to our monthly meeting with other parents who have lost a child suddenly or for unexplained reasons. Tonight we had a nice man come share about the many stages of grief. As part of our discussion we were able to watch small video clips of a former pastor share about his experience serving those who experience loss.

While many parts of the clips were relevant, one part stood out to me most. Significance. He explained that when a someone loses a loved one there is always a dimension of grief that is experienced. When a parent loses a child, that dimension is called the Significance Dimension. It is very different than any other grief.

When a parent loses a child, they often feel it is their responsibility to establish their child's significance in this world. When an adult passes away their significance can be found and remembered. In most cases adults work to establish their significance themselves throughout their lives. When a child passes away, there is a level of responsibility many parents feel to establish that significance for their child. Perhaps it is fear that others will forget.

My sweet Kaden Layne, I hope you know how significant you are to Mommy and Daddy. Your being here changed us in so many ways for the better. You are in our thoughts each morning and throughout the day. Little things remind us of you and bring smiles to our faces. You are in our conversations, and memories of you bring laughter and joy to our days.

My sweet Kaden Layne, you will never be forgotten.

Love you sweet girl.

2011-09-11T18:11:00.000-07:00

Kaden Layne Harris ~ 3 months old

It's September 11th and I think of you, sweet girl. I also think of all the families who are remembering their lost loved ones today. All week long there have been special programs on television documenting the many men and women who lost their lives on this day ten years ago. I listen to their individual stories and hear about how their families have done their best to move on. Even though it is so different, Mommy and Daddy somehow relate to their pain.

Mommy has learned one for sure thing since that last night in July '10- loss is loss. No matter what kind, it all hurts. The emotions are the same. The fullness, the hope, the love, the affection are all lost or changed forever.

The one good that comes from Mommy's experience of having and losing you is this - I feel for others in a way I never knew how to before. When I look at people now I often wonder in what ways they have been changed by life. I know now that everybody truly is somebody to someone. You are my special somebody and I will never forget you.

As time passes and your little sister grows, Daddy and I are overjoyed by sweet memories of you. Layne certainly has her own personality and features, but it's so easy to find a little of you in her, too. We love that so much.

Sometimes Mommy shows Layne your videos. It's neat to see her stare at you. I wonder what she's thinking when she watches you play, squeel, and laugh? I wonder what it would have been like to have you here with her. I bet you would have loved her so much. I bet she would have loved you too.

We sure miss you sweet Kaden Layne...

When You Wake Up...

2011-08-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

When Mommy was pregnant with you I read everything I could get my hands on. Just like many first time Mommies I wanted to do everything by the book. I was determined to find the best ways to do it all. What I wanted most was for you to be a good sleeper.

Babywise was the book I loved most. I had heard all kinds of people use this approach. I loved the matter-of-fact nature of the nap and bedtime routines. What I liked most was the idea that sleep would be a happy time, not frustrating. Even though it took all kinds of convincing on Mommy's part to get all your grandma's on board with the idea of not rocking you to sleep, eventually they complied - at least when Mommy was around :).

Somewhere in my search to make you the best baby I could, I also read about the importance of reassuring your baby you would always return. Every time Mommy laid you in your bed for a nap or put you down for the night I would always say the same things. I was adamant that bedtime would be an enjoyable part of your day.

From the time you were eight weeks old you proved to be a good sleeper. While nap times were sometimes more difficult than bedtimes, within a few months you were going down for both with barely a fuss. By the time you were a year old nap and bedtimes were easy breezy. Once laid in your bed Mommy would run my finger down the slope of your tiny little nose, gently tap the end, and say "Mommy will see you when you wake up!". You would smile real sweet, close your eyes, tilt your head to one side, and start twirling your hair between your fingers. In the baby monitor, Mommy would watch you doze off.

At every nap and every bedtime I said those words to you just before you drifted off to sleepy town. I never thought in a million years there would be a time when that wouldn't be true.

Sweet Kaden Layne, we miss you so much. We cannot believe Mommy and Daddy laid you down to sleep for the last time over a year ago. Everyday we are reminded how blessed we were to have you, even if only for a few months. We are thankful for the memories we made and the joy we shared during those short 16 months.

Each day, as we look at your little sister, we see more and more of you. Sometimes it's in her appearance. Other times it's in her little personality. We embrace all the tender moments a Mommy and Daddy share with their new baby and reminisce in the precious times we spent with you, Sweet Baby Girl, on this earth.

We miss you sweet girl.

Someday...

2011-07-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

When Mommy was five months pregnant with you I bought you a book from the school book fair. The title was Someday. I loved the illustration on the cover - a mother holding a little baby up in the air. The first page is what sold me on it. "One day I counted your fingers and kissed each one" it read. "Someday your eyes will be filled with a joy so deep that they shine."

Mommy loved this book with its simple words because it highlighted all the tender moments a mother would share with her daughter as she grows. At that time, Mommy could only imagine how wonderful life would be once you were born.

"Sometimes when you sleep, I watch you dream and I dream too" it says.

When you were about a week old I held you in my arms and read that book to you. It made Mommy so sad to think that one day you would grow up - that one day you would no longer be my little baby.

"Someday I will stand on this porch and watch your arms waving to me until I no longer see you."

As you grew into a toddler I felt more and more excited about the kind of little girl you were becoming. You were fun and funny. You were silly and sweet at all the right times. I would think about the future with so much hope. Daddy and I couldn't wait to build a lifetime of good memories with you.

Now that you are no longer here with us that book is even more difficult to read. Mommy is reminded of all the things we will no longer get to do in this life.

"Someday I will watch you brushing your child's hair."

Perhaps it is the end that makes me saddest of all.

"Someday," it reads, "A long time from now, your own hair will glow silver in the sun. And when that day comes, love, you will remember me."

I am reminded of how backwards all this is. I think about how unnatural it is for you to be gone before Mommy and Daddy.

It has been a year now. I look at your pictures. I look at your room. I look at the step by the sliding glass door and remember you. If I blur my eyes just right I can imagine you there sitting, as if that step was put there just for you.

Every day we miss you. Every day we think of you. Every day we smile remembering how you changed our lives and brought us unbelievable joy. Every day we find a way to rejoice in the fact we were blessed with you even if only for sixteen months. Every day we watch as your friends grow a little bigger without you. Every day we feel thankful that we will never have to worry about where you are or who you are with. Every day we wonder how your little sister would have loved playing with you and you with her.

Every day we have flashbacks of that terrible day and the days that followed. Every day we feel changed - broken, vulnerable, not normal. Every day the good and once vivid memories with you fade a little more. Every day the laughter, squeals and sound of your tiny voice become more difficult to hear. Every day we feel a little more separated from you. Every day it seems we have to let go of you a little more.

But someday we will be with you again.

Someday we will see your bright blue eyes again. Someday we will feel the warmth of your hugs again. Someday we will hear you say happy, happy, happy in that little girl voice. Someday we will see just how perfect a big sister you would have been. Someday we will no longer have to miss you. Someday we will be with you in Heaven.

Someday, a very long time from now, this life on earth will come to an end. And when that day comes, sweet baby girl, Mommy and Daddy will no longer have to remember you.

Someday...

Eleven Months

2011-06-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Sweet Girl,

Mommy and Daddy just got home from visiting your spot at the cemetery. Daddy has made it so pretty this spring. About a month ago he planted a whole bunch of pink and white flowers all around your stone. They have grown so bright and full. He goes there almost everyday to water them. I wish you could see how pretty they look. Mommy thinks it's Daddy's way of still being able to take care of you.

A few weeks ago Mommy and Daddy went to the dance recital. Last year you wore your navy dress and together we played in the hallways and outside on the little preschool playground between numbers. You really liked seeing the "big kids" on stage and even danced between the seats during some of the songs. What good memories.

This year's recital was special in a very different way. Just before intermission, a group of very talented girls performed a lyrical dance to the Christian song "Homesick". Not only is that one of Mommy's favorite Christian songs, it also describes with just the right words how Mommy and Daddy feel about not having you here with us.

Just as the dance number began two groups of little girls began blowing bubbles on both sides of the stage. Throughout the dance you could see the heart felt expressions on the girls' faces. Some were tearful, others were solemn. At the end, the dancers raised a stitched quilt with large letters that read "We Dance for Kaden". Each girl had written a special message and signed their name on the individual squares.

The dance was a beautiful representation of love and loss. Who could have thought a dance could bring such a rush of emotions to Mommy - sadness for not having you with us - love for the girls who worked so hard to make it special - happiness that your memory could be shared and not forgotten. I wish I could describe to you how special it was.

Something else that was really special this past month was our Memorial Day gathering. Last year at Memorial Day Mommy loved watching you smile as you rode down the big hill in your red wagon with Daddy. Mommy laughs when I look at the pictures of you in your "too small outfit". We all treasure the picture of you and your buddies sitting on the steps. What a fun day it was.

This year on Memorial Day we invited just about every person in our family and most of our closest friends to share your special garden and celebrate your sister's arrival. Nearly 65 people came to be part of the day. Daddy told everyone the story about how your pond came to be and Uncle Jamie said a nice prayer that helped remind us that where you are is where we all want to be one day. It turned out to be a pretty special day.

It's been eleven months. Each month we miss you the same. Each month we dig deeper to hold on to you and the memories we have. Most times we laugh and smile as we share and remember. It seems like every good conversation and memory is followed with a sigh of sadness. I guess it's because we still cannot understand how you could really be gone.

Having Layne here has helped Mommy and Daddy smile more. I think it's because we get to tell her all about her big sister. When I give Layne a bath I tell her how you loved bubbles and even say the same silly things. All the songs I used to sing to you I now sing to Layne. In the very beginning Mommy felt sad about that. At first Mommy and Daddy both felt bad for enjoying Layne so much. Daddy described it best when he said he felt like he was cheating on you. We decided that when we love on Layne we are also loving on you in one of the only ways we can. We hope you feel it.

We love you baby girl and always will.

Big Sister!

2011-05-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Kaden,

Today is a special day in more than one way...not only is it your day, but today we brought home your newborn sister. Layne made her entrance into this world three days ago and earlier than predicted. Layne was born on May 8th - Mother's Day. In many ways I think you and God had something to do with that. Oh, how special a day it turned out to be for Mommy.

Mother's day was the holiday I knew would be toughest for Mommy to celebrate without you. To be a mommy and feel like a mommy, means to have a baby to hold on special days like that. Even though I couldn't hold you, I knew you were watching me hold Layne. That was the best gift I could have received this Mother's Day!

With Layne here now days seem sweeter. In some ways Mommy and Daddy feel like life has been put into rewind and we are just starting over. Like many big and little sisters, you and Layne are so much alike. From your appearance to your personality, it will be neat to see how each of you are unique in your own ways.

Mommy was so excited we would be released to go home from the hospital today. I was excited most of all because it was your day. Mommy and Daddy decided the best way to celebrate your day and your new sister was to have a picnic at your spot. So, we packed up some snacks, Mammy's big purple quilt, a watering can for your flowers, and a big pink fluffy bow and headed to your spot. We spent more than an hour reminiscing, wondering, hoping, laughing, smiling, and sharing with Layne about her big sis.

We sure hope you find joy watching Mommy and Daddy love this new baby girl like we loved on you. We hope you know you are always on our minds and in our hearts. We sure love you baby girl!

2011-04-11T14:24:00.001-07:00

Memories are all we have of you now, Sweet Baby Girl. Memories of all the good times and sadly memories of your last times. It's amazing how the details of the very last time seeing and holding you in our arms are so much more vivid.

This week at church a new series was started. Its title - 21 hours. Its focus - the last 21 hours of Jesus' life. Throughout the entire sermon all Mommy could think about was your last 21 hours. I know your last day was a good one - the best you could have had. From the moment you woke up early with a fever - to the sweet time we shared in Mommy and Daddy's bed trying to help you sleep comfortably - to the "fast bath" Mommy gave you before we left to head to Louisville - to the "uh-oh's" I heard on the other end of the phone as I called to check on you throughout the day - to the moment we got the call from the EMS worker saying you were unresponsive - to the last time we held you in our arms inside the ambulance late that night.

It's hard to understand how God lets things like this happen - especially when he knows the pain.

Springtime and Easter are going to be a tough time for Mommy and Daddy - maybe even more so than Christmas. For most people it is a time to be with family. It's a time to enjoy the flowers and the warmth of the weather to come. It's a time for family pictures and dresses and playing outside. It's a time for cookouts and afternoon walks. It's a time for Easter egg hunts and kite festivals.

All the things Mommy and Daddy enjoyed before you and with you, we now have to learn how to do without you. We do our best to make these times bearable, but truthfully they are often the most difficult.

Some people imagine that everything will get better when your baby sister is born. Sometimes I wonder if it will change things at all. Many are hopeful that all the sadness will be replaced. Mommy feels as though some people have a hard time fully understanding the difficult nature of this time. When people ask about pregnancy most Mommy's feel proud and enjoy the attention. When people ask me I get so nervous and scared that they don't know about you and what happened. People will often ask "Is this your first?" I used to fumble over my words trying to answer in a way that wouldn't make the other person feel bad for asking. Now I find it's one of the few ways I can tell people about you and about SUDC.

As we try to prepare for your little sister to come, it feels a bit more like we are losing more of you. Simple things like boxing up your clothes and washing your last bed sheet have been very emotional. Mommy and Daddy have made the best of it - if that is possible. Things like moving your toys and putting away some of your pictures makes Mommy feel guilty. We know that life goes on and we have to move forward. Mommy and Daddy also know that nothing will ever truly fix the emptiness we feel.

We will always wonder what life would have been like with you. We will wonder what kind of big sister you would have been to Layne. We will wonder what kinds of Disney shows you would have liked or how many words you would have been able to say now. We will wonder how you would have grown like your friends and what kinds of mischief you would be getting in to. We will wonder how long your hair would have been or what foods you would have liked. We will always wonder what kind of joy you would have brought to our lives.

We hope we can keep your memory alive by sharing pictures and videos of you for others to see. Memories are all we have to remember you by.

Love you, Sweet Girl.

Memories of you...

2011-03-11T20:05:00.000-08:00

Hi Sweet Baby Girl,

Tonight Daddy and I had dinner together at Galvin's. Date nights are still so bittersweet. Tonight we laughed and smiled as we shared memories from last year at this time. There were only a few times that tears welled up in Mommy's eyes.

It's getting a little easier to hold back emotions when we're out in public. Seeing little girls about your age is sometimes the hardest for Mommy. It's the little things they do that make me think and wonder about you. The pat of their little hand on the back of Mommy's arm. The bounce of their pigtails as they toddle into Daddy's outstretched arms. The smiles they bring to the faces of strangers nearby. Even the sweet cries. Mommy would take it in a heartbeat.

We remembered bringing you to the same restaurant this time last year and sitting at one of the high-top tables. You were in your high chair, which was so much lower than our table, and would look up at us with those big blue eyes. You didn't seem to mind. You were just happy to be out with all the people.

After dinner tonight Daddy and I came home and watched LOTS of your videos. There are so many good ones. We laughed more than anything at how much personality you always seemed to have. Even when you were fussing, you could make us smile. Before we realized, two hours had passed. What would we give to have more than memories of you...

In some ways the pictures that hang have become a fairytale of what once was. You're with us every minute of the day - on our minds, in our hearts. We want to keep you alive in such a desperate way. We often wonder if we will ever be as happy as we once were when you were here.

The only way we know how to keep your memory with us is to celebrate the times we spent together. This video was taken on your first birthday. Mommy was lucky to be home from school for a snow day. We had a blast playing together that day. I love the sounds of your sweet baby voice. I'd give just about anything to feel the squish of your little belly or the softness of your little hand in mine.

We hope to share your joyful, happy nature with everyone who has been touched by you - the bright light you were in our lives.

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you so much, Sweet Girl.

It's Your Day!

2011-02-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Girl,

Today is your day. Mommy and Daddy wish we could celebrate your day with you. We sure hope Jesus and all the other angel babies in Heaven found some way to make your day special.

Every year we promise to make your day special in its own way. This year, with the help of Aunt Keshia, we put together "Kindness for Kaden Day". People everywhere were encouraged to perform a random act of kindness for someone in your memory on your special day. The response was incredible. Over 3,000 people participated in the event. Mommy and Daddy are so touched.

Today at Mommy's kindergarten class we celebrated "Kindness Day" by creating cards for special people in our school. Only a few of Mommy's students knew it was actually your day. There was one little girl who quietly whispered in Mommy's ear, "I know today is Kaden's day". That simple sentence warmed my heart in a big way. Later that day she whispered again about the Happy Birthday prayer she said to you this morning before school. So sweet.

Earlier this week Mommy was invited to the opening night of the new exhibit at the art gallery in Richmond. "Kaden's Tree of Life" was being unveiled. With the help of the art teacher Mrs. Discepoli, Mommy's former students created a beautiful piece of artwork in memory of you. They plan to hang it near the garden inside the school with a small plaque. Mommy was overwhelmed with hugs from former students, their parents, and teachers from Model Lab School.

Tonight we plan to share your day with our closest friends. We hope we can make it a day of celebration. We hope to laugh as we share funny memories of you. We hope to be reminded of the pure blessing you were to all of us.

We are always reminded that one day we will hold you again in Heaven. We can only imagine what that celebration will be like.

We love you, Sweet KadenLayne!

Snow Days

2011-01-11T16:24:00.000-08:00

Sweet Girl,

Today was another snow day. Last year I remember how exciting it was to stay home from school with you. I remember getting to spend several days leading up to your birthday at home with you. I would make Daddy take us out to lunch each day to celebrate your day just in case I had to work on the real thing. Today would have been the best if you could be here with us.

Christmas and New Year was so different this year for Mommy and Daddy. We did everything we could to make it different than last year just so we wouldn't have to be sad about all that we were missing out on. We set up a shelf of your sweet pictures and pretty things: your red tutu and little pearl necklace you wore in your first Christmas pictures; your white, fluffy boa you would wrap around your shoulders; and your little red headband Mommy splurged on at that store. It looks so sweet next to your smiley-faced pictures. We only wish we could have the real you.

One of the most bittersweet parts of this holiday season came on Christmas Eve. Mommy and Daddy had gone out of town for a few days and on our way back home we stopped by your spot at the cemetery. Before that day your spot was decorated with a Christmas tree in the place where your marker would be. We had ordered it several months before and knew it should arrive before Christmas. We didn't expect it to be on Christmas Eve. As we pulled up to Babyland at the cemetery tears filled my eyes. I could see that it had come. All Mommy could think was "How fair is that? My baby gets a headstone for her Christmas gift this year." As pretty as it looked and as nice as it was, it just didn't seem right.

Most people believe the holidays are the toughest days for people who have lost a loved one. But for us, everyday without you is tough. The holidays were just another day to get through. Since we were only blessed to share each holiday with you once, those days don't matter as much. It's the everyday things that we miss so much.

It's been six months since we last held you. Six months since we last got to watch you enjoy the everyday pleasures of this life. Six months since we heard your giggles and cries. Six months since we last felt the cuddle of your hugs or the wetness of your kiss.

Six months seems like just yesterday but in some ways feels like forever.

We miss you Baby Girl...

Bittersweet

2010-12-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

Hi Sweet Girl~

It's been five months since you left us to be with Jesus. We miss you the same each day. Christmas will be here before we know it. We hung your stocking between ours and put up a little tree in your room so it would shine out your window. Mommy decorated it with silver and white ribbons and shimmery ornaments. A big silver bow and star on top makes the tree perfect for you. In some ways it makes us feel closer to you. Tomorrow we will bring you a little tree for your spot. It's extra special because it's the same little tree your Great Grandma Judy made for your cousin Bobby Jack and Great Grandpa's spots at the cemetery. After nearly 20 Christmas's, she said it was time to pass it on to you.

This week we learned you are getting a little sister. In many ways we are so excited to see how this sweet girl will be so much like you. We wonder will she have your pretty blue eyes or your chunky thighs? Will she have your laugh or your outgoing personality? Will she love to dance and talk and cuddle with bears? Will she wave like Ms. America as we walk the grocery aisles? Will she twirl her hair as she falls asleep and race to push the button on her glow worm just one more time? Will she get mad and stomp her feet when her Mommy and Daddy hug on each other? Will she love bubbles and babies and outside? Will she sleep well and love us the ways you did?

We hope that a little piece of you is part of her. More importantly, we hope we can show her just how special her big sis was to so many.

It's hard to believe how life has changed since this time last year. Who would ever think we could experience the best of life and the worst of life all in one year? With God's help we try to stay focused on all that we were blessed to have with you, not just what we're missing.

We hope you know how much we love and miss you sweet girl.

Love you...

2010-11-11T17:36:00.000-08:00

Sweet girl,

Just like every morning, you were the first thing on Mommy and Daddy's mind. Today is your day - the 11th. It was always special before and is extra special in its own way now that you're no longer here with us. You would be 21 months old today.

Today was the perfect day - sunny and especially warm for November. It would have been the perfect kind of day to spend with you outside.

Outside...your favorite place to be. You would stand at the big sliding glass doors in the kitchen, smack your hands and say, "Si-Si!". You also loved to swing and slide. You loved to walk on the deck and look through the rails down at Daddy working in the yard. Daddy remembers the time when you were sitting next to the flowerbed and a whole slew of little yellow butterflies flew up all around you. Your big blue eyes lit up with excitement at the sight.

Another of your very favorites with Daddy and outside was wagon rides. You loved being pulled around the yard, giggling, laughing, and bouncing on your bottom the whole way. But the highlight of the ride was when Daddy would get in with you at the top of the big hill and fly down to the bottom over and over again. Your smile and laughter was so contagious.

Now, in our backyard close to the big hill, is a waterfall and garden made just for you. It's amazing how God works His goodness through complete strangers. Mommy and Daddy thought a little pond would be a good way to spend time remembering you. Who would have thought that our little idea would be turned into such a powerful project? So many good people gave of their time, resources, and talents to give Mommy and Daddy this special garden. Nature's Expressions created the most amazing place for us to spend time with you, our sweet girl.

We miss you every day and wish so much that you could be here to see the fish swim and splash your feet in the water.

Love you baby girl.

Looking Ahead...

2010-10-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

Today we started our day with a visit to your spot. It's hard to believe that it has been three months since we last held you in our arms. Today you would have been 20 months old.

Everyday brings a little more hope. Everyday things remind us of you. Sometimes those things bring us joy, but often they make us a little sad. Here are a few that come to mind...

Bananas. . . You LOVED bananas. When we would grocery shop I would have to hide them from you. You were so cute! If you spotted them you would fuss for one. When I would hold you in the kitchen you would spot them in the fruit basket. You would get so excited, flap your arms and legs, say "Be-be" and point right at them.

I remember our last day together when we went shopping for fabric for Mommy's classroom we shared a banana on our way into the Hobby Lobby. You didn't mind that it was a little bruised from being in our bag.

Mommy still buys bananas almost every week at the grocery. Most times they rot before they get eaten. One day they will taste sweet again.

Hide -n- Seek . . . You loved to try to find Mommy and Daddy. When you were a little smaller Mommy would hold you in her arms and we would hide together. Daddy would sneak up from behind and make us all laugh.

When you were big enough to walk and run, Mommy would say "Ready - Set - Hide!" and run to the opposite wall of the room. You would walk all around until you found me. I would scoop you up and tickle you all over until you wanted to play again. We miss hide-n-seek.

Big Teddy Bears. . . You got your big brown bear from Santa on your first Christmas. Who would have ever thought that would be your only Christmas with us. Around spring you really started to embrace his big eyes and cuddly body. You would run over to him and lay down in his lap. When it would be quiet in the house Mommy and Daddy would find you sitting with him with a book in your hand.

At the Fayatte Mall in Lexington on our last day together I remember how sweet you looked when you saw the giant plastic teddy bear in the playland. With big eyes you looked up at him and grabbed him with your arms opened wide. Your smile was priceless. It was like you had been reunited with your long lost buddy. The best part was when you turned around, sat down right in his lap, put your arms up over your head and laid back on him. You looked up at him just like you did with your big bear at home.

At night you, me, and Daddy would lay together in your bear's lap to read our bedtime stories and say our prayers. With you Precious Moments angel in our lap we would fold your hands in ours and listen to the little boy's voice say "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray my Lord my soul to keep. May the angels watch me through the night and keep me in their precious sight." Then we would all say "A-MEN". Mommy and Daddy loved being with you in that special place.

Your bear still lays in the same place beside your crib next to the window. His head tilts in such a way that makes him look a bit sad. Perhaps he misses the attention he use to get. We wonder what kind of bears your cuddling with up there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the days ahead we have a lot to look forward to. We confirmed today that in May 2011 you will be a big sister. The news is bittersweet for us. Mommy would love to dress you up in a "Big Sister" t-shirt and parade you around to help spread the news, but that cannot happen. In some ways we know we will see part of you in this new life. We look forward to that so much. We hope you and God picked out a good one for us. :0) We realize life will never be as fully joyful as it once was - there will always be a part that is missing. We sure hope we can find a little piece of that joy again.

Although your time with us was short, your impact on our lives continues to be huge. It's amazing to think that just 16 months with you could teach us so much. Even in your passing we have learned the importance of faith and love, the value of family and friends, and the significance of each of our purposes here on this earth.

We sure miss you sweet girl.

Missing you...

2010-09-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Everyday we think about you, our sweet girl. We miss you so much. When we are out and see other little girls about your age we try to find parts of you in them. Today we heard squeaky shoes at the apple orchard. We miss that sound.

Daddy visits you almost everyday to water your spot. He works so hard to keep your spot looking nice. He put new grass seed and dirt down where the ground has settled. I made you a new pretty bow. My sweet girl always has to have a pretty bow.

Today you would have been 19 months and one day old. We wonder what new things you would be doing. I wonder how much longer you hair might be and what new words you would know. We wonder what you would have liked about the petting zoo at the apple festival today. Would you like to see the big camel and the little ponies? We know you would have LOVED the wagon ride and the sweet taste of the apple cider.

We miss you sweet girl and love you so very much.

Kaden Layne Harris

2010-07-28T06:08:00.001-07:00

It's been a month since Kaden left us to be with Jesus in Heaven. We are doing our best to find our new sense of normal and establish a routine for our days. We found it quite difficult in the beginning to wake up to the quiet of our home. The usual static of the baby monitor is replaced with empty air. Our excitement for getting up early in the morning to see our smiling baby girl standing in her crib has been replaced with an uncertain purpose for what we need to accomplish today. We know we will get through this difficult time. Our faith in God and the comfort of friends helps tremendously.

16 Months

2010-06-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

Kaden is growing so much. We love seeing her develop into such a sweet little girl. She is curious and loving and as funny as can be. She has developed a personality of her own. She loves playing tag and enjoys the company of friends (little and big) and family. She loves to eat new things, but finds animal "cackas" to be the best. She gives great big hugs and adores books.

Brian and I are constantly amazed at how good she is. We jokingly say that our next child will be rotten by nature.

Dressing

2010-05-31T10:25:00.001-07:00

Kaden's Donna Ma was so sweet to make her some sun dresses and outfits. Since she said they were super easy to do, I thought I'd give it a try. Kaden looked so cute!

15 Months and Growing Like Crazy!

2010-05-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Such a big girl! At 15 months, Kaden has become a little person. She has a personality that lights up our lives and makes us laugh like crazy. She is a social butterfly already. She loves little kids and is super eager to make new friends. Anything with a face is waved at (including clocks). "Hi-dy" is her favorite word. Her facial expressions change with every move. Even her "old man look" is something to laugh at. She sure is a funny girl! Kaden loves to slide. The bigger the slide, the better. She loved trying out AJ's big slide at his brithday party. She even went down the BIG slide with Daddy at the park during spring break.

Kaden is officially off and walking! It is so fun to chase her around the house. She has pretty much given up on crawling. I think she realizes that walking gets her there a lot faster...and makes her look more like the big kids!

On the Go...

2010-03-27T17:44:00.000-07:00

Kaden loves to walk! Too bad she won't let go of her walker or your hand. She walked for 20 minutes straight with this determined look on her face. She seems to be a hard worker already! It won't be long before she's walking on her own!

Spring is Here!

2010-03-27T17:40:00.001-07:00

Kaden loves to play outside. Brian started taking her on wagon rides around the yard. She thinks it is the best thing ever! She's definitely an outside gal!

Daddy's Birthday!

2010-03-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

Kaden loves her buddies Jacob and Lucas.

First Haircut

2010-03-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

First Birthday Party

2010-02-09T10:46:00.001-08:00

Kaden's birthday dress was made by her Donna Ma. Black and white polka dots with a red monogram fit our ladybug theme well. Thanks so much Donna!

This past weekend we invited all our family and friends over to help celebrate Kaden's first birthday. This Thursday will mark one year for our sweet baby girl. We went with a ladybug theme using red, black, pink, and lime green colors. Here is a banner I made with my new Cricut machine.

Instead of giving Kaden a bunch of things for her first birthday we asked our guests to make a donation in Kaden's name to Shriners Children's Hospital in Lexington. Since Kaden was treated there for hip dysplasia we felt we could help do something to give back.

Kaden was super curious about her giant cupcake. At first she delicately touched the top.

Before long she was licking the side.
Finally, she grabbed the whole thing like a bottle and went to town. It was fun to see her get her first taste of something super sweet!

Aunt Sarah and Cousin AJ sent these pretty gerber daisies. They made a great center piece for the big day. The ladybug decoration in the middle was made to go with Kaden's party theme.

We had yummy white cupcakes. I made these cupcake decorations to fit Kaden's ladybug theme.

Marissa, Bailey and lots of Kaden's family helped celebrate. Tatum, Chloe and Anderson were there too!

Kaden loved seeing Elly Kate too. Kaden's other friends Jacob & Lucas, Brandt, Preston, and Grayson were there too!

We had a great time and enjoyed seeing everyone. It meant a lot to us for everyone to come see our sweet girl. Thanks to everybody for making it a fun day!

First Snow!

2010-01-10T18:36:00.000-08:00

Kaden wasn't quite sure what to think about all the white stuff. We bundled her up until she looked like Ralphie's little bro. When I put her down on the fluffy snow she fell over immediately and started to cry. She watched her cousin Cy and the grown-ups having fun. Brian thought sledding down the driveway might be a new experience. She never smiled, but seemed to be ok with it. Her rosie cheeks and red little nose were too cute. What fun!

Kaden's First Christmas!

2009-12-29T08:21:00.000-08:00

The weekend before Christmas we went to Grandma Trish's house.
Kaden's first Christmas present.

Kaden loved her baby doll stroller. More than that, she loved the tissue paper and boxes.

On Christmas Eve we went to the early church service at Southeast and spent time at Papaws. Then, we went to Grandma Judy's house for dinner. Kaden looked like a little doll in her sweet dress her Donna Ma made for her. She loved sitting in her own rocking chair. Thanks Grandma Judy!

The first thing Kaden did when she saw what Santa had brought was wave really big. Then, she crawled straight toward her new kitchen set. She was so much fun to watch. She loved her big teddy bear and her baby doll. Santa must have thought she was a VERY good girl!
"I love my books."
Merry Christmas!

10 Months Old!

2009-12-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

On December 11th Kaden turned 10 months old. We cannot believe what an amazing little girl she has become. Her wide-mouth grins, claps, and two-hand waves bring so much joy to our days. To celebrate we went to dinner and to Wal-Mart to pick out a few new toys.

Helping Mommy!

2009-12-16T10:38:00.001-08:00

Kaden helped me watch Elly Kate again last month. They had a good time playing together and I thought for one moment that caring for two young children "wasn't all that hard". For the most part they ate and slept at different times. It was the play time that was interesting. Keeping Kaden at a safe distance was sometimes a challenge and she ISN'T even crawling yet. Hhmmm.....Good thing Brian and I are on the three year plan! :)

Pretty in purple! Good friends must think alike (or at least their mommas do).

Kaden is teaching Elly Kate how she plays in her walker.

Sneaky~sneaky~taking Elly Kate's paci. Life lessons start really early.

Accessories. Kaden loved Elly Kate's flower headband.

Yet another lesson on "not everything is yours sweet baby girl".

Nashville

2009-12-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

Last month we took a family trip to Nashville. Kaden had a good time. Check out these faces! :)

This little face of hers is completely priceless. We're not sure if it was the sound of the traffic or the cool breeze tickling her nose. Pretty cute!

She LOVED playing in the leaves!

Kaden slept great away from home. Mommy and Daddy were a little worried. It must have been that pretty pillow behind her that helped her sleep so well.

10 Months Old!

2009-12-12T04:08:00.001-08:00

Kaden had her checkup on Monday with Dr. Knight. She is now 28 inches long (50th percentile) and weighs just 20 pounds, 9 ounces (holding at the 76 percentile). I use the word "just" since she's only gained one pound in three months. Finally our little chunky-monkey is thinning out. Dr. Knight said she looks very healthy and is developing well. We asked about her baby blues - he said her eyes would probably stay blue since they haven't changed a bit. Daddy's gonna be in big trouble in a few years. ;0)

We're sorry we've neglected to put more pictures and updates on our blog. We're staying extremely busy as a family and are out of town a lot on the weekends. During the week Brian's playing "Mr. Mom" all day and working from home and at the office while I teach kindergarten. At around 3:30 we switch roles so Brian can go teach classes at the gym. Since Kaden has dropped her late afternoon nap, she can sometimes be a handful to keep entertained until bedtime. When our schedules allow us to be together as a family we try to enjoy each other as much as we can. Our priority is our family - most importantly, Kaden!

Here Come the Holidays!

2009-11-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

Kaden is getting ready to celebrate her first Christmas. Thanks to her Aunt Alex she has lots of cute hairbows to fit the occasion. We have fun playing dress up at our house! :0)

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

Even though we're a little behind, we thought we would share some of our favorite pictures from Halloween.

Kaden spent Halloween helping to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters with her friends Jacob and Lucas. It was a real zoo with Kaden dressed as a pig and the boys dressed as a monkey and a lion. Everyone commented on how cute she was with her poofy pig costume (thanks Donna Ma).

Many Smiles

2009-10-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

Kaden has so many different smiles. It's fun to capture a variety. Check out these grins! :0)

Family Fun on Fall Break

2009-10-09T21:35:00.000-07:00

Brian and Kaden came up with a very creative way to find the perfect pumpkin. We're looking forward to spending all these fun holidays with our baby girl.

Kaden and Mommy enjoying a little sunshine outside. Check out those gigantic cheeks on Baby Girl. Don't you just want to pinch 'em?

Picking Pumpkins

2009-10-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

This week was Fall Break. We've been super busy! Besides going to two festivals and the pumpkin patch, we visited all of our family.

We were glad Poppy, Donna Ma, and Norm Pa were able to go to Huber's with us at the last minute.

This week Kaden cut her first tooth (or maybe two). She's been super slobbery but more smiley than ever. Take a peek...

Happy Fall!

2009-10-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Kaden will be eight months old in a few days and we cannot believe it! She has grown so quickly. Time has flown by faster than ever.

Kaden loves to use her hands to grab, pick, pull, pat, hit, and pinch everything these days. Her new thing is pulling on Mommy's hair or earrings. She even pulls on Daddy's hair.

We cannot wait to see what new things she will be into this fall.

Sink Baths!

2009-09-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

First Word!

2009-09-19T07:55:00.003-07:00

Kaden said her first real word today. Watch the video to see what it was... :0)

Loving Her Hat!

2009-09-15T19:02:00.000-07:00

Summer Fun

2009-09-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

Love Pugs!

2009-09-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

Kaden met her new friend Izzy last weekend. Check out the video!

Loving Her Crib!

2009-09-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Playdate with Elly Kate

2009-09-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Kaden LOVED looking at her new friend, Elly Kate. Kaden and I helped John and Mary by babysitting Elly Kate while they were in class at UK. We'll get to have at least one playdate a month with her. Yea!

State Fair

2009-08-31T03:38:00.000-07:00

Kaden enjoyed seeing the moo cows at the State Fair a few weeks ago. She even got to pat a real bunny. Wow, how soft they are!

Longboat Key

2009-08-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Swimming Fun at Longboat Key

2009-08-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

Kaden & Cousin Cy

2009-08-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Kaden & Donna Ma

2009-08-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

Kaden & Norm Pa

2009-08-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Sweet Tea!

2009-08-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

Everybody loves Norm Pa's sweet tea ~ even Kaden!

Beach Baby

2009-08-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

Kaden got to visit the beach for the first time. She didn't quite know what to think of the sand, but LOVED the way the waves splashed her all over.

Fun in Florida!

2009-08-01T12:29:00.000-07:00

Kaden took her first airplane ride to visit her cousin Cy, Aunt Alex, & Uncle Jamie in Florida. She did well considering we woke her up from a deep sleep at 6:00 a.m. to go to the airport. Thank goodness for her piggy blanket and glow worm. Together, they worked like a charm to get her to sleep in our arms.

First Date...Sort of...

2009-07-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

Kaden went to the drive in theater a few weeks ago with her friends Jacob and Lucas. They had a great time rolling around in the back of the van. Daddy is really excited to see that she's not all that interest in boys - as you can see from the picture. Although she slept through the entire movie, Mommy and Daddy got to enjoy the animated movie Up! We recommend the drive-in to all new parents.

Swinging with Papaw

2009-07-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Kaden really enjoyed spending some time with her Papaw. Her favorite part was the swing. It was neat to see her swinging beneath the same tree I used to swing under when I was a little girl.

Sunglasses!

2009-07-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Kaden's Grandma Poppy gave her some super cute sunglasses. She loves being outside, so they make the best accessory.

Pool Fun!

2009-07-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

Kaden LOVES the water. Although she doesn't handle the humidity very well we try to make short visits to the pool whenever we can.

4 Months and Growing...

2009-06-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

Kaden is nearing the end of her 4th month already! At her latest doctor's appointment she weighed a whopping 16 pounds 4 ounces, which placed her in the 92 percentile for weight! She's certainly a big girl alright!

Her favorite thing to do now is cover her head with her blanket during naps. This, obviously, makes her mommy a nervous wreck. Her giggles and smiles make all the diapers, spit up, and fussy times worth it all!

First Days Flashback

2009-04-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

Even though Kaden is already 2 months old, here is a little peek at what she was like when she was first born. Brian and I cannot believe how fast she has grown. At her 2 month appointment she weighed 11 pounds 7 ounces and was 22.5 inches long. She's quite the chunky monkey these days.

So sweet...

2009-03-26T16:42:00.002-07:00

Kaden's Birth Story

2009-03-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

It was two and half weeks before our big due date. It started as a usual Tuesday. I went to school just like usual and spent the day with my 24 second graders. Since it was the week of Valentine’s Day I stayed late to get some activities ready for the next day. By the time I got home around 7:00p.m. I was pretty exhausted. Brian and I ate dinner and settled on the couch to watch the UK vs. Florida game. Around half-time I got up to go to the bathroom for the 100th time that day. As I walked across the living room I felt a huge kick in my lower belly. I blurted out an “ouch” and continued my journey half asleep. Once there, I began to feel a trickle of water that I was sure was just pee. Brian, hearing my “ouch” from before, came to check on me. After several minutes of curious expressions and confused conversation, we decided it was best to call my sister to see what she thought. Thank God for sisters. My sister said. “I think your water just broke. Call the hospital.” Brian nervously sought the tiny card labeled “What to do if you think your in labor” and called the on-call doctor. “Bring her right in” were the words he heard. Since our baby was in a breech position, time was of the essence in our situation. With wide eyes and a mixture of excitement and nervousness Brian and I raced around the house to finish packing my hospital bag. Brian and I were pretty sure it was just a false alarm but we didn’t want to risk it. It was then, though, that I started to feel the tightness of the first contractions. Whewww! What an uncomfortable feeling.

It was a little after 11:00 p.m. and we were on our way to the hospital. The first thing that popped into my head as we drove down the narrow country road was Brian’s parents. I turned to Brian and said, “Oh no, your parents are going to just die!” You see, Brian’s parents were with his brother on a cruise in the Caribbean. Before they left his mom said “Now don’t have that baby without me.” I reassured her over and over again that this baby wouldn’t be early. I even joked that this baby wouldn’t come until March. Brian and I imagined how disappointed they would be if we really had our baby this night.

With Brian in the driver’s seat and my sister on the phone keeping track of contractions, I felt thankful I had them to help soothe my pain. My contractions were mostly in my lower abdomen and bottom. They were quickly becoming closer and closer together. It was around midnight when Brian drove the jeep up to the hospital’s entrance. He dropped me off at the door and quickly found a parking spot. We slowly made our way to the labor and delivery ward and got checked in. It seemed like my contractions were right on top of each other at this point.

The nurses scrambled to get paperwork completed and monitors hooked up to my belly. The nurse checked my cervix and found that I was 2 centimeters dilated. She also checked the position of the baby. Unsure if she was feeling the baby’s head or bottom, she called in another nurse. After that nurse checked, they finally called in the doctor to be sure. Dr. Guiller performed a quick ultrasound to determine the baby’s position. Sure enough, she was still breech. It was then that he turned to Brian and me and said, “It looks like we’re having a c-section tonight. Since there’s no one else in line, you’re up. We’ll have this baby out in 30 minutes.” A huge surge of emotions raced through me. I could tell the same was true for Brian. It was all happening so fast.

It wasn’t long before the hospital staff was wheeling me down the hall. It was there that Brian and I saw my sister and mom rushing to catch us. They made it just in time!

As I got prepped for surgery I finally felt relief with the epidural. The pain medication relaxed every part of my body. After a few minutes Brian came in dressed in scrubs and stood by my side. The doctor and nurses, each with their specific roles, carefully worked together. Brian watched as Dr. Guiller reached in and pulled two little tiny legs out of my abdomen. In a blink of an eye the rest of her body was out and she was laid on my belly. The whole time I watched Brian’s eyes in an effort to see for myself this amazing event. At 1:45 a.m. on February 11th our little girl made her entrance into this world – healthy and perfect in every way!

Kaden Layne Harris

2009-02-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

The Nursery's Complete!

2009-01-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

What a special surprise! Last weekend Brian and I were in Indianapolis attending a Jamfest Competition for his teams. On our way home, we stopped by Lexington for our usual doctor's appointment. As usual Dana, our nurse, checked my weight and blood pressure. Unfortunately both had increased in such a way over a short period of time that my doctor was a bit concerned. Teary-eyed, I left the office a bit bummed. Brian and I returned home shortly thereafter. As he hugged me in the hallway, he convinced me that looking at the baby's room would help make me feel better. Little did I know that Brian had his mom and dad secretly come down while we were out of town to decorate the nursery. When I opened the door I was completely in awe of how beautiful our little nursery looked. Sure I had some idea of what it might look like since Brian's mom Donna and I had picked out fabrics together, but I had no idea that she would be able to get it finished this early or make it as beautiful as it is. Brian and his parents did a very good job making the nursery the best surprise! Thanks Norm Pa and Donna Ma!

Brian and his dad worked all weekend to paint the pretty blush pink and light lime green walls. Brian handpainted all the pink and green polka dots along the winter white stripe around the room. I loved watching him work so hard to make the baby's room absolutely perfect.

Happy Holidays...

2008-12-28T19:05:00.001-08:00

My mom and sister (pictured here) are great to have around. When I am with them it's reassuring to hear that what I'm experiencing is completely normal. We laugh a lot and reminisce about my sister's experiences with her kids. I sure got a lot of first hand training on baby care back in the day when my sister had her twins. Hopefully I can remember at least half of what she taught me. Thank goodness for older sisters, and moms too!

Brian and I spent a lot of time with family this Christmas. Our parents and grandparents have already started imagining what it will be like to have another little one around. Our little girl got more gifts than we did this Christmas! We feel so blessed and have so much to look forward to in the coming years.

In early December Brian's parents came to visit. Brian's dad was super eager to help paint the baby's room. Brian appreciated the help. We celebrated Brian's mom's birthday with dinner in Lexington. We snapped this family photo just before we headed out. As you can see the baby is certainly getting bigger. We cannot believe we are already seven months along. WoW how time flies!

The Big Day

2008-12-07T18:35:00.000-08:00

On October 20th Brian and I had our second ultrasound. The first thing the ultrasound technician showed us was the baby's little face. As Brian and I looked in amazement, the baby started to open and close her mouth. Seeing her move like that tickled us both.

The technician then showed us a lot of the baby's anatomy. We saw the heart and spine, among other things. The baby measured to be about 1 pound in weight and seems to be healthy. It was nice to know the baby was developing as it should.

After completing the screening portion of the ultrasound the technician asked if we wanted to know the sex. Of course we said "YES!". The baby was moving around so much that the technician could hardly catch a glimpse. Finally the technician said, "It looks like we have a girl". Before Brian or I could see for ourselves, the baby moved again. "Are you sure?" is all I thought in my mind. The technician tried again and again to capture a shot. I thought for sure we would be that couple who thought but wasn't 100% about the sex of the baby. Finally I got up the nerve to ask, "How do you know for sure?" After about five more minutes, the proof was in the picture...

First Baby Shower

2008-12-07T17:45:00.000-08:00

At the end of October I had my first baby shower. Brian and I got so many wonderful things for the baby. Most of all we got lots of adorable outfits for our little girl. It was a beautiful shower with lots of nice touches. It was hosted by my sister-in-law, Alex, and close friends of my mother-in-law.

Five Months Along...

2008-12-07T17:30:00.000-08:00

In early October I finally began to actually look pregnant. It seemed like it took no time for my belly to grow, grow, and grow some more. This is about the time I felt the baby's first movements. While unsure of what exactly it was that I was feeling inside, feeling something going on in there was reassuring that things were going well. Brian and I would be driving down the road, turn to one another and say, "Are we having a baby?". The reality of it all started to kick in around this time.

Three Months Along...

2008-11-22T12:59:00.000-08:00

After the first three months of pregnancy passed by, I felt blessed not to have any morning sickness. Starting back to school in August kept me busy and active. Brian and I moved into our new home. Perfect timing for our new addition.

First Picture

2008-11-12T17:47:00.000-08:00

We had our first ultrasound at 10 weeks. Brian and I loved hearing our little peanut's heartbeat. Brian got a big laugh when the ultrasound technician pushed on my belly and the baby started wiggling her arms and legs like crazy. Seeing our little one for the first time made being pregnant real for us.

Sharing the News

2008-11-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

I shared the news with my family by taking each of my parents out to lunch. My sister and I spilled the news to my dad. His smiley face grin about being a grandpa again was too cute. My mom responded in a different way. When I gave her a card that said the news she literally smacked the table and squeeled out loud before hugging me with tears in her eyes. What memorable moments to look back on!

We shared the big news with Brian's family with the help of Alex, Jamie, and our little nephew Cy. It was a fun moment to look back on. We had Brian's mom, Donna, help Cy open a gift we got for him. The gift was a little t-shirt that said "I'm going to be a big Cousin!". It took Brian's family only a second to figure out what exactly that t-shirt meant. Watch the video below to see how stunned everyone was - especially Brian's mom!