Picture…Not Quite Perfect

It's a new year.  Almost four since you were last here.  Mommy thinks of you everyday still and misses you the same.

Another holiday season has come and gone.  This year was one of the best Mommy and Daddy have had in a long while.  It could have been that your little sister, with her big imagination and pure joy, brought a certain kind of excitement and life to our Christmas.  Or maybe it was because by now we know what to expect around the holidays.  Nonetheless, it was one marked with more smiles than tears, and that's progress for sure.

Mommy can remember back to the first Christmas we had without you.  Mommy remembers how sad Christmas cards made me feel that year. Perfect pictures of families complete - each was a reminder of what we once had and what we would not have again.  That year Mommy kept the cards in a basket with the photo-less ones on top.

This year, as the Christmas cards rolled in, Mommy hung them on the door of the hall closet for all to see.  Layne especially liked looking at the ones with her cousins and friends.  Mommy brought out the card we sent to our family and friends with the picture from your first Christmas.  Perched in a frame, Mommy placed it out on the counter as a decoration next to Layne's.

Your First Christmas - December 2009

Christmas cards and family pictures will probably always make Mommy a little sad.  Every time we have our pictures made as a family Mommy feels a nudge in her heart to think of a way to include you. No matter how beautiful the photos turn out, to Mommy they are not quite perfect without you.

In our home images of you can be found all around.  Mommy loves each one for the memory it holds. Some are of us as a family.  Many are of you by yourself propped up next to ones of Mommy and Daddy with Layne.  Most times they make me happy.  Sometimes they make me sad.  I wish there was a way to have us all together somehow.

Love you and miss you always sweet Kaden Layne…  

                                                                         Pictures with Layne and you on Mommy's fridge.