The Season

To my dear Kaden Layne...

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6 reads: "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.  A time to be born and a time to die.  A time to plant and a time to harvest.  A time to kill and a time to heal.  A time to tear down and a time to build up.  A time to cry and a time to laugh.  A time to grieve and a time to dance.  A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.  A time to embrace and a time to turn away.  A time to search and a time to quit searching."

It's been seven years since you passed away unexpectedly in your sleep and for a cause still unknown. It seems like forever and yesterday in the same.  Without a doubt it's been the most difficult season in Mommy and Daddy's lives. 

Over the past seven years Mommy and Daddy have thought of you each and every day. There are still moments when Mommy tears up just thinking about that July 10th day.  Glimmers and glimpses of that sad night make their way back to Mommy's memory every once in awhile.  The night we lost you was such a defining moment in our lives. 

For awhile Mommy and Daddy allowed that day to define who we were.  We allowed it to determine our mood, our attitude, our future.  With the birth of Layne and Jack that changed some.  In time, we have seen how God has used this tragic time in our lives to mold our character and deepen our faith. Because of your life and our loss Mommy and Daddy have learned to live for the little things.

Bill Hybels senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois and author of the book Simplify says, "It's important to identify your current season so that, when the season comes to a close, you'll be less likely to cling to it, and more apt to make a graceful exit and step wholeheartedly into the new season that is dawning." For a long time Mommy felt the need to hold on tight to our short time with you. Writing to you each month started out as Mommy's way of feeling close to you.  Having your day, the 10th of each month, was a way for Mommy to reflect on your sweet little life and to remember the little things about you.  It became Mommy's way of healing, too.

Over the years Mommy has been clinging to the grief that losing you brought to our lives.  Because of it Mommy and Daddy have both been changed - a lot for the better.  This season has given us a perspective we never would have gained if it hadn't been for you. In seven years we have learned so much about what really matters.  We thank God for all the lessons your little life has taught us.

Seven years is a long time.  After all these months Mommy's finally ready to make a graceful exit from grief.   We know you live on.  The warmth that comes when we remember you reminds us of that everyday.   It's because of that that Mommy's finally ready to let go of the need to write each month.  After seven years Mommy's ready to step
wholeheartedly into this new season dawning -a season of living having learned so much because of you.

Once a time to look back, now it's a time to look ahead.

Until we meet again my sweet Kaden Layne...