Friday, March 11, 2011

Memories of you...

Hi Sweet Baby Girl,

Tonight Daddy and I had dinner together at Galvin's. Date nights are still so bittersweet. Tonight we laughed and smiled as we shared memories from last year at this time. There were only a few times that tears welled up in Mommy's eyes.

It's getting a little easier to hold back emotions when we're out in public. Seeing little girls about your age is sometimes the hardest for Mommy. It's the little things they do that make me think and wonder about you. The pat of their little hand on the back of Mommy's arm. The bounce of their pigtails as they toddle into Daddy's outstretched arms. The smiles they bring to the faces of strangers nearby. Even the sweet cries. Mommy would take it in a heartbeat.

We remembered bringing you to the same restaurant this time last year and sitting at one of the high-top tables. You were in your high chair, which was so much lower than our table, and would look up at us with those big blue eyes. You didn't seem to mind. You were just happy to be out with all the people.

After dinner tonight Daddy and I came home and watched LOTS of your videos. There are so many good ones. We laughed more than anything at how much personality you always seemed to have. Even when you were fussing, you could make us smile. Before we realized, two hours had passed. What would we give to have more than memories of you...

In some ways the pictures that hang have become a fairytale of what once was. You're with us every minute of the day - on our minds, in our hearts. We want to keep you alive in such a desperate way. We often wonder if we will ever be as happy as we once were when you were here.

The only way we know how to keep your memory with us is to celebrate the times we spent together. This video was taken on your first birthday. Mommy was lucky to be home from school for a snow day. We had a blast playing together that day. I love the sounds of your sweet baby voice. I'd give just about anything to feel the squish of your little belly or the softness of your little hand in mine.

We hope to share your joyful, happy nature with everyone who has been touched by you - the bright light you were in our lives.

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you so much, Sweet Girl.