Monday, November 11, 2013

Our Spot

When you first passed away Mommy and Daddy spent countless hours visiting your spot.  Daddy went every morning to water your flowers and pick out the weeds.  Mommy always looked for pretty ribbons to make your bows.  Your spot was never without.  It was your spot at the cemetery where Mommy and Daddy found comfort in those first days, weeks, and months without you.  Taking care of your spot was the one way Mommy and Daddy were still able to take care of you.

When your little sister was born it was your spot that we took her first on our way home from the hospital.  It happened to be the 11th, which made it that much more special.  We wanted to share her with you in the only way we could think.  That day we had a little picnic there.  That seemed to be the day when Mommy felt hope again.

As Layne has grown up into the curious little girl she has become, Mommy and Daddy have made certain that she knows she is not an only child.  Pictures of you still hang on our walls and sit on our shelves. Mommy makes certain to share new ones from time to time.   The memories that are tucked away in Mommy's heart are shared when the times seem just right.

Just before Halloween Daddy took Layne and me by your spot.  Layne had helped Mommy pick out some little scarecrows and a few little pumpkins the week before.  As we pulled into the main drive of the cemetery, Layne knew exactly where we were.

"We're going to Kaden's spot?" Layne asked.

"Yes, Baby."

That's when she started to ask all kinds of curious questions.

"Mommy, do you have a spot?"


"Daddy, do you have a spot?"


Mommy and Daddy could only look at each other in silence.  The curious, but innocent nature of her questions melted our hearts that day.

A few weeks ago Mommy and Daddy had some sad news.  Sammy, our cat of 7 years, had been hit by a car late in the night in front of our house.  Our neighbor noticed him early the next morning.  Before your sister could see him, that nice neighbor picked him up from the road and put him in a white bag.  That afternoon Daddy told your sister the sad news.

"Sammy went to Heaven last night."

"Sammy went to Heaven?"  You could see her wheels turning.  After a long pause and in the most serious way she said, "We can go get him, Daddy!"

"No, Layne." Daddy paused for a minute.  "Sammy went to Heaven."  After another long pause he say, "You will need to be extra nice to Frank.  He might be a little sad."

"Maybe we can go see him,"  She said in her tiny 2-year old voice.  "Maybe we can go to Heaven sometime."

Later that day Daddy found a spot on the hill just behind the pine tree to burry Sammy.  Daddy put a few rocks on top to mark the spot as his.  Everyday Layne will make mention of him in some way.  Sometimes she will say to Frank, "I'm sorry Sammy went to Heaven." Other times she will tell me how you get to play with Sammy now.  Tonight she asked if I could drive my car and she could ride her bike to go to Heaven. I couldn't help but smile.  I wish..  

Since you have been gone, Mommy is reminded that this is not the end. One day, a long time from now, Mommy will have a spot.  Daddy, too. We look to Jesus and hold on to the hope that one day we will have a spot with you next to our Father in Heaven.

We love you Sweet Girl...