Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Today is another Kaden Day. The 11th is my favorite day of each month. I look forward to celebrating your day.

A year ago that was far from true. Last year the 11th was one of the toughest days of each month for Mommy. I would get so sad thinking of how much older you would be and wonder what all you would be doing if you were still here. I still wonder how long your hair might be by now and how you might be as a little girl. Those things don't change. I think they probably never will. I think we just get used to the idea that we will always wonder and never know for sure until we see you again in heaven.

Tonight Mommy and Daddy went to our monthly meeting with other parents who have lost a child suddenly or for unexplained reasons. Tonight we had a nice man come share about the many stages of grief. As part of our discussion we were able to watch small video clips of a former pastor share about his experience serving those who experience loss.

While many parts of the clips were relevant, one part stood out to me most. Significance. He explained that when a someone loses a loved one there is always a dimension of grief that is experienced. When a parent loses a child, that dimension is called the Significance Dimension. It is very different than any other grief.

When a parent loses a child, they often feel it is their responsibility to establish their child's significance in this world. When an adult passes away their significance can be found and remembered. In most cases adults work to establish their significance themselves throughout their lives. When a child passes away, there is a level of responsibility many parents feel to establish that significance for their child. Perhaps it is fear that others will forget.

My sweet Kaden Layne, I hope you know how significant you are to Mommy and Daddy. Your being here changed us in so many ways for the better. You are in our thoughts each morning and throughout the day. Little things remind us of you and bring smiles to our faces. You are in our conversations, and memories of you bring laughter and joy to our days.

My sweet Kaden Layne, you will never be forgotten.

Love you sweet girl.