Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Before and After

Today is Sept. 11th.  Of course, Mommy thinks of you.  Mommy also thinks of all those people who are recalling all the horrific details from this horrible day in our history. It is unreal how the details of our best times with those we love can sometimes become so vague, but the moments from the most horrific days can be so ingrained in our memories and have such an impact on our lives that we are forever changed.

Undoubtedly, this is the day that changed life for all of us.  Everyone remembers the moments and details of 9/11, but the moments for those who lost a loved one on that day are magnified.  The minutes leading up to and following a tragic event such as this are replayed in the minds of those affected directly.  To them it is remembered as the before and after.  The what it was and the what it is now.  To them, this is the day their life was changed forever.

For all of those people who lost daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, coworkers, and friends Mommy mourns for them.

It has been 12 years since 9/11. So much of our everyday has been changed because of this event.  So many life plans were derailed and dreams were lost.

It has been 3 years since you were last here.  In those early days and weeks following your funeral the pain and sorrow was relentless.  Every moment of every second of every day was spent thinking about all that we had lost.   Everyday Mommy woke up to the sadness of our reality.  Everyday Mommy looked to find a new purpose for life.  It has taken a long time for Mommy to get to the point where life feels normal again.  The joy has finally returned to my days and Mommy feels optimistic and hopeful again.   It feels good to have it that way, but inside Mommy knows there could have been so much more if you were still here!

Mommy's prayer is that the families of the victims of 9/11 are at a place where the joy feels good again. Where the memories of the before overshadow the devastation of the after.

Thinking of them tonight and loving you always...