Monday, January 11, 2016

Bedtime Stories and Footed Pajamas

As a first-time mom to you and like most first-time moms, Mommy fretted over every detail that revolved around you.  I'm pretty sure I drove your daddy crazy! :)

A hair-bow that matched every outfit, clothes packed in your closet for every size you would need - not just for the first six months, we were prepared for your first two years!  Ridiculous, Mommy knows!  Did I mention the wooden hangers?  Yep, Mommy was almost as excited about the super steal I got on matching wooden hangers from the GAP Outlet as I was on finding out you were a girl. Okay, that may be a bit of a stretch!
  Mommy searched high and low for the prettiest Easter dress I could find.  Of course, you had to have a matching bow.  Daddy thought your dress was pretty ridiculous.  We both had a good laugh when Daddy had to work around all those ruffles to change your diaper.  

Everything was always just right.  Mommy made sure of it all the time.  Anytime you stayed with your Donna Ma and Norm Pa overnight, Mommy made sure you had an outfit for every possibility.  Mommy never knew when something fun might be on the agenda.  And during your days with Daddy, Mommy and Daddy always made sure you had what you needed to be happy.  Mommy and Daddy packed toys and jumpers and all kinds of gadgets for you to be entertained at Daddy's office. Mommy wanted you to be happy during those long hours working with Daddy!

Like most first-time mommas, Mommy was always prepared with a plan and a routine, too.  Mommy read the books and googled the blogs.  Milk times, snack times, nap times, play times, meal times, bath times, bedtimes.  They were all planned out in advance.  That's what good mommas do, right?  Mommas have it all under control.  That's what Mommy thought.

On July 10, 2010, Mommy learned a lot about control.  Even when you do everything right, Mommy learned, we are not in control.  Mommy learned that no matter how hard you work to prepare and prevent, that no matter how much you love and trust, no matter how many times you check and try, some times things of this life are just not in our control.  They are not in anybody's control.  Mommy has learned we just have to trust in God.

Mommy has decided that's why you and God worked together to pick out Jack.  It's tough for Mommy to believe that Jack is already one.  Boy has he rocked our world over the year!  Everything Mommy and Daddy did with you and Layne as babies was thrown out the window when he came.  For the first three months, the crying seemed to never stop. Sleep and milk routines, yeah right!  Jack threw a wrench in every preconceived notion Mommy and Daddy had about parenting a newborn. When God gave us your little brother he knew exactly what he was doing!

Over the last year Mommy has learned to let go of so many things.  Mommy has learned to live in the moment and savor the quality time.  The idea that the perfect outfits for babies have to be coordinated, and the perfect way to raise them is with a master plan - Mommy has traded it in! Mommy's learned that trusting in God's plan is better than any plan I could ever master. Mommy's also learned that footed pajamas and quality time is way better than a perfectly clean house or meticulously organized diaper bag.  It's footed pajamas that have packed some of Mommy's favorite memories - of you, of your little sister Layne, and now of Jack.

Pink newborn footed pajamas are what you wore home from the hospital on Valentine's Day 2009.  We had to roll up your sleeves because they were so big.

Your first drive-in movie date with Mommy and Daddy.  You stayed cozy on that cool summer night watching the animated movie UP with your little friends Jacob and Lucas in the back of the car.

Playing toys with your cousin Cy.  Mommy only wishes you could have spent more time with him.  You were both so sweet to watch together. 
Visiting Santa for the first time.  You even wore your cousin Cy's footed pajamas.  A few years later your sister, Layne, would wear the same pair.  We saved these same footed pajamas for your baby brother Jack, but he turned out to be a wee bit too big to wear them at Christmastime!  We did have him wear them in October just for good times and to keep the tradition.  

Just being you!  You always looked so sweet and felt so good in Mommy's arms when you were wearing your precious footed pajamas.

So tonight, as I rocked Jack in the same glider I rocked you and your sis, and as I felt the weight of his warm little body packed snug against mine in his footed pajamas, we read the best little bedtime story and shared a tiny moment.These tiny moments with him remind me of those memories Mommy has of you.  Sometimes,  deep down, Mommy can still remember how warm it felt reading bedtime stories with you in your footed pajamas.Love you and miss you baby girl...